My big week: a €90,000 lottery win and an investment opportunity with the US Department of the Treasurey

Hello, Dr Immaculata. Nice to hear from you and to receive such good news. It makes a change in these dreadful times with wars, rumours of wars, and radical change in Gaelic football. It is of course a truism that the only constant is change but, really, it would be good if things slowed down a bit. Maybe it’s just that I’m getting older.
Then along you come with this amazing news, this OFFICIAL WINNING NOTIFICATION. It left me breathless, not least as I had never heard of the LA PRIMITIVA LOTTERY PROMOTIONS PROGRAM 2024 before. Okay, it was a little disappointing that the prize I won was “in the third category” and is shared with 11 others.
Still, “€985,950.00 (NINE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-FIVE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY EUROS ONLY) in cash”, as you spell it out, in capitals too. (You do like capital letters, I see). That’s still a large amount of money, even when divided by 11, almost €90,000 each.
It may surprise you to hear I have no memory of entering this draw nor was I aware that my name “was entered as an alternative number attached with the lucky numbers 07-15-25-31-34-46″. Nor was I aware that those were lucky numbers. Clearly they are.
Your grammar there is somewhat confusing, as is the “We happily announce to you the draw …” with which you begin the official notification. Still, what’s a little “off” grammar in the context? However, I would feel guilty accepting such largesse. Here at The Irish Times such are our pay levels that €90,000 would be income for half a day’s work.
Can I suggest you send it to “Ben Harris”. He wrote to me recently from “the US Department of the Treasury.” He wanted to discuss a project and was “open to negotiating an investment/business profit-sharing ratio based on the future earning profits of the venture”.
Not being in need of such “profits”, as explained above, I failed to reply to Ben’s message “promptly”, as he requested. But I’m sure, Dr Immaculata, he’d welcome correspondence from you.
In truth you sound like you deserve one another.
Spam, a name for luncheon meat that became popular during the second World War, well before its use from 1970 on BBC’s Monthy Python’s Flying Circus, as stated here on October 7th. Thanks to Ken Ward of Ballymoney, Co Wexford, for that.
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